Well, now that the first trimester threshold has come and gone, we're comfortable letting those outside of our immediate family know about what's going on. Some have been told, and others have discovered independently (like, by reading these posts and knowing who I am). Universally, congratulations and support flow into our small yet growing family. Multilaterally, and thankfully NOT universally, unsolicited advice follows.
We are happy to hear about your experiences as a parent, since we've never done this before and it’s a little scary. However, and the wife agrees with me on this point, that does not mean that we want your advice or guidance as to how we should live our lives, unless we are so forward as to ask for it. So, kindly, kindly, keep your advice to yourselves unless and until we ask you, and then don’t be offended if we completely ignore you. We’re reasonably intelligent, observant, inquisitive, and thorough adults, gifted with the security and independence that robust careers and education provide. We appreciate the value of comparable experience, and are more than willing to accept advice thoughtfully given. However, we are not you, and needn’t live our lives according to your plan or template. We’d like to at least attempt to handle this, as much as we are able, on our own. That being said, we understand our limits and are hardly too proud to seek help when its needed.
That time is not now; we’ll let you know when it is.
It’s a complex world out there, and sometimes, particularly for those kinesthetic learners among us, we need to get our hands dirty before we “get it.” That’s OK, because neither I nor my wife are dumb enough to put our little one in jeopardy in order to learn a lesson on parenting. Are we going to make mistakes? Hell yes, but then so does everyone. That’s life, and your mistakes teach you in a way nothing else can; through experiencing the pain of failure, subsequent success is sweetened. Mmm…alliteration…
Everyone is different, leads different lives, and has a different perspective on how to approach things. That’s a huge benefit of being a parent yourself; within certain (extraordinarily broad) bounds, we get to raise our kids however the hell we want. Maybe our son will take ballet. Maybe our daughter’s first toy will be a construction set. Maybe we’ll all learn to play the bagpipes and fire them up in our backyard at 5 AM on a Tuesday.
Our kid, and we’re entitled to a little leeway in how we raise them. If you keep your mouth shut, I’ll do the same. Something my father told me about people in glass houses and all…
And for the love of god, don’t touch a pregnant woman’s belly unless she consents. Otherwise, that’s battery. I know, I’m a lawyer, and I’d have no compunction about haling your ass into court to make a point.
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1 comment:
Bravo. Well said. I wish more people learned to mind their own business when it comes to parenting, etc.
But it makes me wonder, have you really gotten that much unsolicited advice ALREADY? If so, DAMN. I might extend my ideal pregnancy age even longer.
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